The Crimson Ledger
by hawkwasp4
Summary: An Origin of the Black Widow and the many moments in her life that will mold her into the superspy she is today. WARNING! Serious mature themes, this is going to be a detailed depiction of the early years of Natasha Romanoff's life so expect a lot of mature and explicit themes, there won't be much left unsaid, so fair warning and please enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter: 1**

_Year: 1988.  
Location: Stalingrad.  
Time: 2:17a.m._

Something had startled her awake, like footsteps.

She'd gotten out of her bed to investigate the noises she'd heard below and found her older sister in the kitchen looking for something. She walked silently behind her sister. "Isabelle? Why are you up, mama and papa are asleep." The 4 year old questioned in her native Russian."

She turned suddenly and put her finger on her lips. "Shhh... I heard something down here and needed to check it out, it sounds like its coming from the stove." Her sister began searching the stove for the source of the noise. "Go back to bed Nat."

"I told you not to call me-" Young Natalia began walking back to her room, but turned as she smelt something strong in the air. _What is that it smells really bad? _"Isabelle, do you smell-" Before 3 year old Natalia could finish her sentence she was blown off her feet by large force that caught her right in the stomach, as she flew backwards through the air, she saw her sister slam hard against the wall opposite the stove and the flames covered the whole kitchen.

Her eyes were shut for what felt like a second, but was more like a couple of minutes. The fire had spread like crazy and before she could lift her throbbing head she was being scooped into what she recognized as her papa's arms, she clutched tightly to his chest for dear life, hoping he could make this hell go away.

Smoke clouded her vision, she could barely see straight from the explosion and her head ached like it was going to crack open. She was in her fathers arms only a second ago, until a sudden jolt had them both falling, he'd dropped her on the hard wood floor that was getting hotter and hotter by the second.  
As she tried to search for him she could only hear him shout her name. "NATALIA!" he shouted her name until his lungs were full of the black smoke.

"Im here papa!"

Without warning the ceiling above her had come down, she curled onto the ground luckily avoiding any of the rubble from hitting her and sobbed to herself, she wanted her papa to take her away from here, she wanted him to hold her again and tell her it was ok, but she couldn't hear her papa, not anymore, his shouting had turned to silence and all that she could hear were the flames engulfing the place she'd known as home.  
In a moment of utter fear and desperation she'd crawled out from the rubble and looked for her father.

She crawled around where she'd thought he'd dropped her, but all she could find was rubble, spread out all over the floor. She could smell something horrible in the air, something she was too young to recognize yet, but would come to associate with burnt flesh.

Still on her hands and knees she tried to leave the house in search of help, she needed someone, anyone to rescue her.

She walked past the stairs when she heard her mother's voice. But it wasn't how she'd heard ever before, it was filled with panic and fear. "HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE!...*coughing* HEEEEEEELP!"

Natalia rushed over to her distressed mother, hoping she wasn't to late.

She'd had been pin down by the bottom half of her body when she had ran down the stairs. They must have given way due to the flames, and the rubble from the ceiling had all but crushed her.

"Natalia! Oh thank God you're alive." She was frantically coughing and crying. She looked just like her mother, with the same fiery red hair and piercing green eyes, they looked so alike it was unreal.

They held each others hands tightly and were both in tears at the devastation around them. "Don't worry mama, I'll pull you out, you'll see, I'm strong."

The little girl tried pulling on her mother's arm as hard as she could, but to no avail, the rubble was to heavy and even with her mother helping it didn't even budge. She pulled so hard that when they're hands slipped, she feel back on her ass. "It's ok mama, I'll just lift some of this!"

"Natalia no don't touc-" as soon as she had attempted to lift a large piece of rubble more of it fell on top of her mother's legs and sent new waves of pain through her lower body and made her let out an unholy scream of agony.

Natalia dropped the rubble immediately at hearing hearing mother's screams, she got down on her knees beside her and held her hand. "I'm sorry mama, I'm not strong enough, I'm sorry!" She cried

Her mother had a small pool of blood in her mouth and her grip was getting weaker. She felt the flames grow larger and the heat was getting closer to her. "Natalia, listen to me." She coughed the blood out of her mouth. "Leave the house, go and get help." She began crying again. "Mama will be fine, just go." She lied.

Natalia was shaking her head as her mother spoke. "no! no no no no NO! I'm not going!" but before she could argue any further a hand had wrapped around her wrist and began pulling her away from her mother. She gripped onto her mother to the point of pain and cried out for her. "NO! MAMA DON'T LET ME GO! MAMA!"

Her mother lost consciousness as her hand slipped away and Natalia's vision was covered in thick black smoke. She never stopped screaming for her mother, her father or her sister.

She never saw the face of who had saved her, but their hands were cold, so cold it sent a ripple through her body.  
As she was trailed out of the house onto the snow outside and the first breath of fresh air hit her, her body went numb, her brain shut down and she past out, a large part of Natalia Romanova Died that night, under a full moon in the stench of her families charred corpses.

She didn't know it yet but today was the first day of the rest of her life.

The ground was hard and cold, made from concrete. She'd been striped naked and left on the floor, not that she knew that yet.

Her head was one big blur and all that was clear was that she was scared. _No wait, I'm not scared, but I should be, why aren't I? _She rubbed her head and felt nothing, all of her hair had been shaved off, her once fiery red locks had disappeared, but this didn't shock her, in-fact she barely mind was working like a machine, she took in her surroundings after her vision had cleared and she analysed ever inch of the room in the time she had.  
The cell was old, painted green, no furniture, not even a stool. The walls were littered with marks and scrapes that one could only associate with torture and pain. The rest of the room was bare, only a large re-enforced steel door facing her, she couldn't tell since it was closed but she guessed that the door must have been 4 inches thick. _How could I know that? Why is everything so clear to me but so confusing at the same time?_

She placed her hands on her head and tried hard not to think but her mind was racing. _What is wrong with me?_

The large steel door began to move just as she lifted her head, she didn't scurry away or curl up, she stood up and waited for whoever was coming through the door.

A man dressed in a communist solider uniform slowly moved into the room with an AK-47 assault rifle aimed at Natalia. She didn't flinch, but she found it strange that she didn't.

"Clear sir, she's good to go." The man said in Russian as he lowered the assault rifle.

A second later, a larger man, at least 6 foot 5 and full of muscle with a wide grin on his face came through the door, he must have been in his mid thirties and had signs of grey hairs already on his head, he was dressed in very formal looking military clothes. "That'll be all private you may leave." he waved the solider off.

"But sir she is a high ris-" The younger of the two men argued before he was cut off.

"Are you questioning a direct order from your commanding officer?" The larger of the two mean replied very calmly and with still the same grin on his face.

The private began shaking his head. "n..no, no sir, I just-" he was cut off again.

"It's fine comrade, I can handle myself." He stared deep into the young man's eyes and whispered something in his ear that made the private shake slightly.

Natalia was completely in bewilderment.

"Now private, you should get going." as he turned and walked towards Natalia and stared at her he said "Oh and don't forget, it's colonel, not sir." He said to the private just before he left the room.

"Y-y-y-yes s...Colonel."

The large man towered over Natalia and she felt a little uncomfortable, he stared all over her exposed body making sure not to miss a spot by circling around the young red head. He stood in front to face her. "Name?" he asked with a stern expression.

She didn't look the man in the eyes and looked around the room like she had before, trying to find something that might help her think. _What's my name?_

He stepped close and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Your name sweetheart, what's your name?" He asked a little softer.

She felt the warmth in his hand and some of her discomfort began to fade. She shook her head. "I-I don't...I don't remember? I think I don't remember."

The large man began unbuttoning his coat and put it on the young girl before him. "That's fine, you had us worried there., please let me get you a seat." he clicked his fingers and a different solider came in with a chair in hand and placed it down for her. "Sit, please."

She took the seat and smiled at the large man for being so nice to her. "Thank you, I wish I could rmemeber but I don't know where I am or who I am?"

The large man chuckled lightly. "It's ok, you're going to be ok, you had a very nasty accident, but you're safe here, with us." he smiled at her cheerfully.

She smiled and pulled the coat more firmly around her. "Can you help me remember?"

He nodded at her request. "I promise to you, on the flag of mother Russia that I will help you remember and that I will make you stronger than before."

She stared into his eyes at his last words. "Stronger?"

"Yes, don't you want to be stronger, for your country?"

His question was odd and out of place but it didn't faze her, she wanted to be stronger. "I do."

He smiled even wider now. He noticed her looking around. "What are you thinking of right now?"

The question caught her off guard and she suddenly felt embarrassed and ashamed. "I was, planning a way to escape."

"Why do you want to escape." He replied in his still tone that made her hair stand on end.

"I don't know this place and I'm...well I'm."

"Scared?" he looked closer at her.

She looked confused, not by his question but because of her answer. "No." her answer interested him.

"Good."

She stared down. "I was considering using the badges on your coat to stab you then do the same to one of the guards outside and take his gun."

He reacted calmly. "Why were you thinking that.?"

She shook her head slowly. "I don't know."

He waited a moment and looked at the young girl. "Would you like to know your name?" he offered.

She slowly nodded. "Yes, please."

"Natalia."

She smiled. "I like my name."

"Good, now Natalia, I need to ask you a question, its very important and I need you to tell me the truth, because I told you the truth, understand?"

She nodded enthusiastically.

"Do you remember anything?"

She looked down and closed her eyes trying to remember. There was nothing, just blank. She shook her head and weakly replied. "No."

He embraced young Natalia. "Come with me, we'll get you some clothes and food, would you like that?"

She smiled and nodded her head at the sound of food, she was starving. "Yes please."

"Alright then." He placed his hand out for her to grab and she took it gratefully.

"Can I ask one favour, please?"

He looked back at her as he shut the steel door behind them. "What's that?"

She looked him up and down. "Who are you?"

He smiled and stood at attention like any solider. "I am Colonel Ivan Petrovich, at your service madam." He said with a bow.

She giggled at his presentation. "Thank you Ivan, for saving me."

He took her hand and they walked through the hall to the laundry room to find Natalia some clothes to wear. "My pleasure."

**So just for a mix up I want to try two origin stories about my two favourite spies, just so I can give you a back story on the characters I want to write about. Btw these will get a lot more 'mature' as they go on so fair warning I'm not gonna leave much unsaid.  
I'm starting with Natasha's origin but you'll definitely see a Clint origin before Sunday and I have got some big, big plans for these two. Keep reading and review when you can, I love to hear what you guys think! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter: 2  
**

_Year: 1990_****

Throughout the course of the next six months, Natasha's body had recovered from the injures she had sustained in the house fire. She still didn't remember much of what happened that night or who she really was, she didn't remember much of anything. Fire, bullets, knives and blood were all that was on her mind. She never questioned why such things were in her thoughts 24/7, and it didn't bother her either. In a way, she enjoyed it.

She sat on a small yet comfortable chair that was dwarfed by Ivan's large empty throne like chair. Her legs dangled from the chair and she couldn't help but kick them back and forth. Swinging her legs made her smile. _Child_

Ivan's office was candle lit and the décor was Victorian; red and gold velvet covered the room. The carpet was thick and warm and on the wall above the fireplace, which burned two large logs, was a large painting of an old man she didn't recognise. She was lazily scanning the area while Schubert played from the ancient looking gramophone.

The one thing in the room that really caught her eye was the golden letter opener sitting conspicuously on the large mahogany desk. It shone brighter than anything else did in the room, glistening gold with a single ruby encrusted into the bottom of the handle. Something about the blade drew Natasha to it, something eager and terrifying.

In the first week, Ivan had already gotten her a tutor so she would still get an education. Math, English, Russian, French, Biology, Chemistry and Computing were on her syllabus but she didn't understand why 'the basics of handgun mechanics' or Spetsnaz training book were necessary.

Every day after she had finished her lessons she'd been subjected to medical exams, psychological evaluations and physical endurance tests, Natasha didn't think the physical stuff was necessary and it made her uncomfortable, but she didn't question what they asked of her.

The medical exams went by fairly quickly and had stopped after the first month of her stay here, wherever "here" is. They mostly took blood samples and checked her head for concussions and memory loss, but so far Ivan had filled in most of her life and for that she was grateful.

The psychological tests weren't too difficult either, mostly a few 'tell me how you feel' questions or 'are you happy, Natalia?'

Her physical tests mostly involved running, jumping and rolling, but each day she would get faster and the tests would get harder, always pushing her to the limit. The sweat would roll off her face and she would gasp for air. She felt like crying and begging for it to stop as her muscles ached, but she didn't. _Never question. They saved our life stupid, of course we don't question...We should take the dagger._

The sound of the door opening behind her snapped her out of her reverie. She jumped and turned around. It was Ivan, he was busy reading through a chart, and didn't acknowledge Natasha's presence. Instead, he sat down on his overly large chair and continued to scrutinise the chart for another while longer.

Natasha's eyes were scanning the room in a desperate, vain attempt to find something familiar that might jog her memory. She was happy that Ivan told her so much about her life, but she wanted to know more. _Was that wrong?_

Ivan placed the chart down on his desk, cleared his throat and clasped his long thin fingers together before looking straight at Natasha. "Well I am impressed," he said with a smile.

Natasha looked at Ivan and felt awkward in the man's presence. She didn't say a word.

"You've exceeded all of my expectations and your medical reports are spectacular."

Natasha's eyes still looked around the room and tried not to look directly at Ivan. "Thank you, but I don't understand why I was tested." Her eyes went straight back to the letter opener. "Not that I mind it's just the doctors... they make me nervous."

He glanced over the papers again, "Try not to worry about the doctors Natalia, they're just here to help you and make sure you are healthy." Ivan peeked up from his paper work and looked at Natasha, who was ignoring his answer and still eye-balling the golden dagger almost obsessively. "Do you like the shine?" he asked with a wide grin.

She looked at him, slightly embarrassed that he had caught her, and she remained silent.

"It's quite alright Natalia, it is a very pretty dagger isn't it?" He reached forward, lifted the dagger from the desk, and held it in his hands, checking the sharpness with his index finger. "Would you like to hold it?" he held it out to her, handle first.

She got off her chair, and took it hesitantly, and noticed the weight. It was deceivingly heavy but she quickly got used to it.

"You appreciate the beauty of it, don't you?" Ivan asked her.

She examined it further before replying. "No, I don't like the colour gold, too flashy."

Ivan leant forward with a confused look on his face. "Then why can't you take your eyes off it?"

Her faced turned serious at that point and her answer sounded so cold that it sent shivers down her own spine. "Because it was the first thing I noticed as I walked into the room, everything else was just grey and this was all I noticed." She said holding out the dagger for him to take back. "And I don't know why."

Ivan balanced the dagger in his hand. "Is there something wrong with me?" Natasha asked with a catch in her throat.

Ivan promptly stood up, putting the dagger back on the desk. He walked over to her, placed his hand on the back of her head, and held her close. "No Natasha, there's nothing wrong with you." Natasha looked up at him with small tears in her eyes. "In fact Natasha, there is something wrong with this world and you are normal."

She started to rub the tears from her eyes and Ivan helped. He got down on his knee and looked her in the eyes, holding her head so she looked right at him. "Actually Natalia, you are better than normal, you are close to perfection."

Natasha looked down and felt a bit better about herself. "Is that why I feel so different?"

"Yes, because you are different. Together, you and I are going to change this world the way we want it, so that there are more people like us." He held her closer. "This world needs cleansed."

Natasha slowly pulled away and looked up at Ivan. "Is that why my family was killed by those American soldiers?"

Ivan's face turned serious. "Your family were not killed for being weak, the weak ones were the Americans who attacked out of fear."

"What were they afraid of?"

"Of you Natalia, they were afraid of who you would become, so they tried to kill you."

"But you saved me" She said to him with a smile and a small sniff. "I just wish I could remember my family."

"You know we're doing all we can to help you Natalia, but at the same time, you need to help us."

She looked at him, a mix of confusion and helplessness in her big green eyes. "How?"

He stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Natalia, how would you like to be the saviour of our mother land?"

The room was immediately filled with an eerie seriousness. "You will be the symbol that this country has been lacking for years and with my help, we'll pick this world out of the ashes of American oppression."

Natasha took a deep breath and tried to understand the full volume of what was being said. She took a deep breath and straightened her small frame. "What do I have to do?"


End file.
